My power, my curse.

I do not know what the fuck is going on. Ofcourse that is not something which si totally new to me. Generally figuring out my emotions is something I have never been good at. Usually, I either live in ignorance or denial of my emotions. That is easier, because even though it is harder to face all the emotions at once, it is seldom a choice.
I think of it everyday. I sit here, a little perplexed and a little confused. But at the same time, I am really muddled up in the head, I still cannot think straight. I always thought writing helps be clear my head, but I guess its just an outlet of intense emotions which I cannot talk about to anyone else.

Sticks and Stones of Emotions

The point in time when you feel so wretched about yourself that you feel afraid of looking at yourself in the mirror. You get scared that your reflection will look down on you for what you have done.
Most of the people I have met in my life have been very good to me. And I try my level best to reciprocate the feelings and care. But there comes this one person, who is so good to you, only out of the concern a stranger would have for any other stranger and you just shrug them off.
There are few times when I actually feel guilty so deep inside, that it hurts. It physically hurts to face the guilt so it becomes easier to shrug it aside and not think about it. But its like a tumor, which grows and hurts more as the time passes by. And before you know it, its become big enough for not just your sight but for others as well. This is my problem. This is where I go wrong. This is my punishment.
And then when you start feeling worthless, you just don't want anything to do with anyone. Be strong and face your fears. Its hard.

I don't write anymore. Just don't feel like it :)